Help With Homework!

Okay, Mr. Schoch. I agree that homework is important and I want to help my child. But can you give me some tips to make the whole process a little less of a nightmare?

Let me begin by saying that any advice I offer is based upon what actually works for my own child. Your child may be different, and may respond more positively to other methods. But here are a few ideas that have worked for me:

1.       In my house, my school-age daughter may not watch television on weekdays. This immediately frees us from arguments about what’s on and why she must absolutely watch it. This no TV rule also improved bedtime and morning routines immensely.

2.       Establish a spot where homework will be completed every night. Adjacent to this location should be a supply of sharp pencils, scissors, and a dictionary. Nothing sabotages homework time quicker than the search for a sharp pencil.

3.       Ask your child to do every bit of homework that they can, on their own, first. Any assignment or individual question which requires parent help is set aside until the end. This really decreases the frustration level of the parent who might otherwise be called back to the table twelve hundred times.

4.       If possible, sit beside your child and do your own “homework.” That might be working on a laptop, writing a grocery list, reading a book or newspaper, or doing paperwork or bills. This creates the perfect role model of a quiet, focused, purposeful person. It also prevents your child from feeling that they are being abandoned! Some kids hate homework because it seems like such an isolated, lonely pursuit.

5.       Let your child do the easiest or favorite subject first. Confidence and patience will remain at a high level. If they try to tackle the toughest work first, the resulting frustration will make even their favorite subject seem like “work” later on.

6.       When you do help your child with homework, tell them nothing. Instead, ask questions as much as possible. It might sound like this:

Child: I don’t get it.

Parent: What do the directions say?

(Child reads them).

Parent: Is there a word you don’t understand in the directions?

Child: No. I just don’t get it yet.

Parent: What do they show you in this example?

(Child explains the example in his own words).

Parent: So what do you think we should do first?

Child: I don’t know. It’s confusing.

Parent: In the directions, which was the first command word that you read? What did it tell you to do?

Child: Underline. Underline the nouns.

Parent: Is that what they did in the example?

Child: Yes.

Parent: And then what?

Child: And then you copy it into that chart, to tell whether it’s a person, place, thing, or idea.

Parent: Do you understand now?

Child: Yeah, it’s easy. I just didn’t get it at first.

While at first this may seem mind-numbingly slow, you are actually teaching your child how to think and self-question in order to solve problems. Eventually, they will ask themselves these types of questions rather than ask for help. If you continually “give answers” or tell your child what to do, you are sentencing yourself to a lifetime of homework helping!

7.       If problems arise that seem insurmountable, ask your child if he or she would like to write a note to the teacher. The note should state the perceived problem, plus a possible solution. For example: “Dear Mr. Schoch, I could not do my Lion, Witch and Wardrobe Chapter 12 questions because I forgot my book. Can I do them at recess or over the weekend?”

8.       Take a break every 30 minutes if needed.

9.       If homework each night seems to take too long, try setting a time limit for each subject. “Tonight, let’s work on Math for 15 minutes, Reading for 10, and Spelling for 15.” This time variable actually helps my own daughter to stay focused. For any kid who is competitive, this can be a powerful tool. Also, if that Reading assignment does take longer than 15 minutes, Mr. Schoch would probably want to know that.

10.    If you do discover a certain text is needed to correct returned assignments, have your child write herself a note in the Agenda on the next day’s homework spot. “Bring home NJ textbook!” is a great reminder for the next day at pack-up time.

One suggestion I’ve given, but never had to use with my own daughter, is for parents to purchase a copy of the classroom novel for their own child. The student can then actually write in the book! Notes can be made in the margin, vocabulary words can be underlined, and cool stuff the teacher and classmates say can be recorded. In my own books I find that giving each page its own title (in the top margin) is extremely helpful for relocating information at a later date.

I hope some of these suggestions will prove useful. Below are some of the questions I’ve received over the past few years about fourth grade homework. These may be helpful as well.

How long should homework take?

Forty minutes. Then, at-home reading should be an additional twenty.

Why does my child often have assignments which read “complete” or “finish”?

Some of these assignments were class assignments which were not completed. Others might be entry tasks which were not completed. Any child who is late to school is pretty much guaranteed to have more homework every night.

Do you recommend the use of tutors?

Rarely, but a good tutor can teach your child work habits and study skills that will make them independent in no time at all. I have successfully recommended to some parents that they use high school kids. First, they’re cheaper. Second, your child may relate to a “cool” high school kid better than an adult tutor. Third, high school students may be able to explain concepts better than some “old parent.” Fourth, it gives that high school student a great addition to their college application or job resume. Fifth, your pumpkin may not get smashed at Halloween. You may know a teenager down the street who would be a great match for your child, even just for one day a week.

Should I limit my child’s after school activities?

I may be at odds with other teachers when I say this, but I think extracurricular activities are a necessary part of every kid’s life. I also know that they teach a child that time is a limited quantity. The kids who often don’t get homework done are those who have absolutely nothing going on after school. They waste time, which seems endless, and then forget or neglect their homework later that evening. Meanwhile, the kids who are involved in dance, art, sports, music, martial arts, chess, gymnastics, riding, theater, charity work, religious school, and family activities are the same kids who get the work done. They have learned that there is only so much time in a day. Plus, these same activities actually teach them determination, perseverance, and the payoff of hard work. If your child is not part of at least one after school activity, I would strongly encourage the two of you to find something!

Is it normal to get so frustrated with homework that you feel like crumpling up your kid’s paper and throwing it away?

I’m not sure if that’s normal, but I’ve certainly been in that situation. That’s a pretty good signal that it’s time for a break.

I heard that there's a Homework Club at school. What is that all about, and can my child still sign up?

There are usually still spots available in the Homework Club. Click here for more information as well as a permission slip.